Rajnikanth for You

Rajinikanth doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is
Rajinikanth’s email id is gmail@ rajinikanth.com
Rajinikanth can drown a fish
Rajinikanth once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are today called giraffes
Rajinikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone
Rajinikanth did, in fact, build Rome in a day
Rajinikanth electrocuted Iron Man
Rajinikanth knows Victoria’s secret
Rajinikanth killed the dead sea
Rajinikanth can divide by zero
Rajinikanth once got into a fight with a VCR player. Now it plays DVDs
The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajinikanth kicked one of its corners off
Rajinikanth has counted to infinity, twice
Rajinikanth can play the violin with a piano
When Rajinikanth does push-ups, he isn’t lifting himself up. He is pushing the earth down
Rajinikanth can delete the recycle bin

Kisi gulab ke phool ko chand par kaise bhejoge?

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Gulab Ja-Moon :)

Chor Police

Where does the Goan Police ask the bodies of thieves to be brought for burning?

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Chor La Ghat

Paani, Paani

What happens when two people are fighting in the bathroom and then throw water at each other?

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The Battle of Water-Loo !!

Jawan Times

What do you call the wife of an Army Jawan climbing the stairs?

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Chadhti Jawani !!

Same Saree

In the movie Guide, Dev Anand and Waheeda Rehman are crooning away "Gata Rahe Mera Dil" but unlike in other movies where heroines change their clothes in every shot of the song, in this case the leading lady wears the same saree through the song. Why?

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Because Dev Anand told her:

"Badle duniya saree

Tum na badalna"

Cola Cravings

If you were to kidnap the chairman of a soft drink company, what would you ask for in ransom?
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Khoka Cola!

Her Majesty's Service

What would you call Queen Elizabeth if she contracted Tuberculosis?
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- Khansi ki rani

Cough, cough !!

1. What's the Hinda phrase for Tuberculosis?
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- Khansi ka phanda

Draupadi

If Draupadi were a Pulsar 150, why would it be impossible for
Dushyashana to perform Vastraharan on her? (2 possible answers)
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1. Because, "It's a BOY!!"
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2. Because she would be wearing a saree guar

Dual Sim Phone

how to unlock a dual-sim phone?
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tell the phone:
"khul jaa sim sim"

Alien Encounter

Shortly after landing on earth, a Martian sexually assaults the first
woman he encounters on the street.

Caught in the act by local cops, the Martian raises his hands and says...
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"I cum in peace."

Adios

Aasman ko alvida kaise kahoge?

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Tata Sky !!

Kid in a Mall

A Maharashtrian woman is walking in a shopping mall with her kid. Suddenly the kid points to a shop and says something. The mother begins to look for her phone in her purse. What did the kid say?

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"Ayi phone"

(iPhone)