An old, overweight Camaro kept winning races, consistently beating lighter, faster competition. The Camaro simply looked into the eyes of its loved one, a shiny blue Corvette in the grandstand, and won 'em all.
On being asked by reporters how he managed to win in spite of the power-to-weight deficit, the Camaro replied quietly, "Love handles."
Thursday, March 29, 2012
What Happens When You Dope Too Much
Three students are sitting in a room smoking cannabis. After a few spliffs they run out. One of the men stands up and says, ‘Look, we’ve got loads more tobacco, I’ll just nip into the kitchen and make one of my speciality joints.’
Off he goes into the kitchen where he takes some cumin, turmeric and a couple of other spices from the spice rack, grinds them up and rolls them into a joint. On his return he hands it to one of his smoking partners, who lights it and takes a long drag. Within seconds he passes out. Ten minutes go by and he’s still out cold, so they decide to take him to the hospital. On arrival he is wheeled into intensive care. The doctor returns to his friends and asks, ‘So what was he doing then? Cannabis?’
‘Well, sort of,’ replies one of the guys, ‘but we ran out of drugs, so I made a home-made spliff.’
‘Oh,’ replies the doctor, ‘so what did you put in it?’
‘Um, a bit of cumin, some turmeric and a couple of other spices.’
The doctor sighs. ‘Well, that explains it.’
‘Why, what’s wrong with him?’ demands one of the students.
The doctor replies, ‘He’s in a korma.’
Off he goes into the kitchen where he takes some cumin, turmeric and a couple of other spices from the spice rack, grinds them up and rolls them into a joint. On his return he hands it to one of his smoking partners, who lights it and takes a long drag. Within seconds he passes out. Ten minutes go by and he’s still out cold, so they decide to take him to the hospital. On arrival he is wheeled into intensive care. The doctor returns to his friends and asks, ‘So what was he doing then? Cannabis?’
‘Well, sort of,’ replies one of the guys, ‘but we ran out of drugs, so I made a home-made spliff.’
‘Oh,’ replies the doctor, ‘so what did you put in it?’
‘Um, a bit of cumin, some turmeric and a couple of other spices.’
The doctor sighs. ‘Well, that explains it.’
‘Why, what’s wrong with him?’ demands one of the students.
The doctor replies, ‘He’s in a korma.’
Racist!
You wanna hear a racist line pertaining to Holi?-
"Did you see any coloured people on the street?"
"Did you see any coloured people on the street?"
My Arse!
On being asked about the inspiration for his witty lines, a famous comedian promptly replied, "My arse".
Puzzled, the reporter asked, "How's that?"
The comedian smiled and said, "It's a wise crack."
Puzzled, the reporter asked, "How's that?"
The comedian smiled and said, "It's a wise crack."
Howzzat!
An engine block and a piston used to be good cricket buddies. They used to play against each other all day - and while the piston was the better bowler, the engine block was more into batting.
As the miles and the years piled on, the piston grew tired of the engine block's company. Why?.
.
.
.
.
Because, even though the engine block's stroke was still fine, he was turning into a big 'bore'
As the miles and the years piled on, the piston grew tired of the engine block's company. Why?.
.
.
.
.
Because, even though the engine block's stroke was still fine, he was turning into a big 'bore'
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